Coach Kroll's XMAS Comes Early

In baseball, there was the DiMaggios, Alous, Ripkens and the Boones. Basketball had the Wilkins, Paxsons and the Barrys. Hockey had the Hulls, Sutters, and Gretzkys. But who watches hockey anyway? Football had the Barbers, Baileys, Sharpes, and of course the Mannings. Right now, tennis has the Bryan and the Murray brothers. Vassar College men’s tennis has the brothers Jasso, Nick and Josh, aka Stretch and Smash, or Jassito and Big Jasso.

Josh is one of the teams natural veteran leaders and Nick has already made an immediate impact as a true freshman. Nick is easily the hardest worker on the team, a torch I am proud to pass. He was the first person to do the 7:30 am Monday, Wednesday, Friday plyometric workouts with the basketball team. Coach caught wind of these magic training sessions and suggested it to rest of the team. Mike ran with the idea, made it a mandatory OTA (Organized Team Activity), and the team responded. The guys who showed up reaped the benefits of plyometrics. Josh was a dependable presence and I recently saw him dunking basketballs in the gym. As for me, I survived DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness) and blisters and I’m in the best shape of my career.

The Jasso experiment has worked out so well thus far, that the expert recruiter Coach Kroll recently added a new brotherly weapon to the lineup, Carleton sophomore transfer Giles “Ben” Guzick. Hey, that name sounds familiar. Well it should, he’s the older brother of freshman sensation Andrew “Goose” Guzick, and a devoted follower of this very blog.

I didn’t make it to Ben’s pro day so I haven’t been able to evaluate him in person but other GMs tell me that he’s as good or better than his one-year junior sibling “Goose.” I don’t know if the brothers Guzick play doubles but they do know how run a student government. Just like Kennedy’s cabinet, Ben was president of the prestigious Harley school with Andrew as his secretary. I’m excited to see these reunited brothers in action.


I love to see brothers interact. Big Jasso is very protective of Jassito and I think Nick would be lost at times without his guidance. Nick once called Josh from the ATM to ask where the money came out. I feel the love from the Jasso brothers because I haven’t ever seen Josh lay a finger on Nick. However, Josh does make it clear that if anyone is going to beat up Nick, it will be him, and only him.

Apparently, Josh’s protection dates back to childhood when Josh would bear the brunt of the blame from his parents for shared mishaps in order to protect Nick’s innocence. My mention of this arrangement during dinner at the President’s house instigated an argument between the brothers Jasso about a particular incident with a vase. The jury is still out about the vase because if there’s one thing I gleaned from a research paper I just wrote on psychology in the courtroom, it’s that memory is fluid and subjective.


I have a break chock full of Bowl games before I meet the newest addition to our team but I have still given the issue some thought. How will two sets of brothers affect the team climate? One third of the team will be brothers. Will Ben and Goose act like the Mannings? What will Ben’s nickname be since Goose is already taken? I’ve heard that he is called Buzick (pronounced BOO-zic) but I have some other ideas that play off the alliteration in his name. Maybe he could be 2G, Double G, Straight G. I also like GG because it means “good game” i.e. “it’s over” in computer gamer jargon. Well, until we meet, kiss the baby.